MILKING THE MORE COWBELL CHRONICLES…without Uttering Udderly

Tags

DFWCon, Ellen Gregg, Flash Mob, Gene Lempp, Humor, Jenny Hansen, Jess Witkins, Julie Glover, More Cowbell, Peanuts Dancers, Sassy Flamingo

The traveling More Cowbell Chronicles landed on my give-that-to-me-NOW tantrum plate (right below sex with Tom Selleck when he sits beside me in First Class someday and asks for my autograph and then accidentally brushes my boob when he returns the pen and then Whoops! has to snatch it from my zatch when it falls there and then…)…

Whoa! I got lost in that parenthetical comment. Let’s begin again.

It was DFWCon, May 2013 AD.

The More Cowbell Posse and WANA Tribe rocked the convention. I discovered Jenny Jo Hansen had THE More Cowbell with her.

She planned to send it home with the first person on the list of participants in the More Cowbell version of a Flat Stanley (only better) tour.

That person was not Gloria Jean Burns Richard.

That’s when the conniving and begging and tantrums began.

It was so not fair. I’m the one who brought Handerpants for More Cowbell’s Mama, Jenny Jo.

Never mind her very own copy of The Huge Penis self-help guide for dudes that yielded another OMG! (Oversized Male Genitalia) Post.

I’m the one who gave Jenny and Jess Witkins the Hallmark Moment opportunity to strut their undies in public.

Did any of those opportunistic arguments sway Jenny from giving More Cowbell to me instead of the first name on the list?

No.

No, they did not.

That first person on the list?

JULIE “The Tease” GLOVER

It was Julie Glover, the grammar maven, Mystery and YA author extraordinaire, who beat me to the sign up list. Off she went with More Cowbell, taunting me with her glee.

The dress code at DFWCon? Whatever makes you happy.

She was the first to blog with More Cowbell Chronicles in her post titled Livin’ the Lone Star Life.

Meanwhile, I was stuck in the land of Nada. No fodder for my Glob.

No Glee.

Even a visit to Sassy Flamingo Boutique didn’t pop my pizzazz.

Next on the list? Ellen M. Gregg who blogs with the tagline a Little Bit of Humor, a Little bit of Magic, a Whole Lot of Love. What’s not to love about that?

Other than the fact that she got More Cowbell next.

No. Patience is not one of my virtues. My virtues are limited to…

[I’ll get back to you on that one, ‘kay?]

STOLEN! from Ellen Gregg

Ellen Gregg did More Cowbell justice in her blog titled More Mondays, More Memories, More Cowbell. 

Among other adventures, she took the ravenous More Cowbell to dinner.

I don’t know what was in that special lemonade, but More Cowbell did not want to leave the land of MORE.

And, so, I waited.

WHEN WILL THE AGONY END?

Weeks passed. I was in such a state of angst, I didn’t shower or change my clothes or don new head gear.

Back to Sassy Flamingo.

That knit dress behind me? I now own it, and blame Jenny Hansen, Julie Glover, and Ellen Gregg for that MasterCard restorative slide-and-sign.

And, there was still another person ahead of me on the list.

Gene Lempp, author of Unearthing the Future blog (and, frequent comment competitor on More Cowbell) was next.

I whined. I moaned. I cajoled.

I donned my best hat, gussied up a bit and tweeted Gene. And, he agreed to let me have More Cowbell next!

I love that guy. Doesn’t matter that he thinks I’m whack-a-doodle.

And, then the day finally arrived! Ellen Gregg’s package with the clanging More Cowbell arrived.

IT WAS A GLEE-RIDDLED DAY!

More Cowbell is MINE all MINE until I finish milking it for blog topics and send it on to the gracious Gene Lempp.

Of course, I had to go to Sassy Flamingo. Of course, I needed something to wear befitting the legend of More Cowbell.

I chose Cowgirl Justice. Fitting, don’t ya’ think?

And, look! There’s another cream knit dress in the background. You, too, can own one of these. I (seriously) have my own.

POSTCRIPT

Now that More Cowbell is in my possession, I can admit something.

At DFWCon, Jenny and I both attended a social media panel. The panel, including Piper Bayard and Kristen Lamb, talked about the importance of regular blogging.

This is not my strength.

[Again, I’ll get back to you on those.]

Jenny raised her hand, and the following words (paraphrasing here) spewed from her mouth:

“I blog four or five times a week, and like to schedule them in advance. I allocate an hour, usually on Sunday, to write and schedule my blogs for that week.”

An hour?

An hour?

One freaking 60 minute HOUR?

That is when I moved from my seat across the aisle to sit next to Jenny. I wanted to smack her with my notebook soak up her good blogging vibes.

[And, then smack her with my notebook. Correction! Smack her with the honking big bag we all carried about.]

POST POSTSCRIPT

That’s when I decided I would Milk More Cowbell for topics. That’s when I decided I would not post my first until I had no less than four scheduled and written.

I may change up the dates on you, but MORE COWBELL (so far!) is featured in blogs titled:

ARE YOU UNPOOPULAR? DO YOU POP OUT AT PARTIES?

NUISANCE WILDLIFE CONTROL…Nabbed by the Beaver Trapper

TESTOSTERONE ZONE

BILLY BOBS — THE BIGGEST CLANG FOR OUR BUCK

Erm. Julie Glover or Nigel Blackwell, I need a companion to get the picture for that last one. First one to volunteer wins…

Something.

Don’t make me walk up to a stranger and ask if they’ll help ring my bell.

Oh, wait! I already plan to do that.

Never mind.

One More Cowbell mission ran into my good sense yesterday. I have to do this with More Cowbell.

A Flash Mob.

I want to organize a Flash Mob based on Jess Witkins’ blog post yesterday. If you live in the greater DFW area (which includes Denton, Julie) please contact me or comment on my triple-dog-dare to pull off a Flash Mob based on this video featured yesterday on that linky-love for Jess’s blog.

Here is the video she shared.

As always, comments are not only appreciated but RELISHED. Lick the end of that number two pencil and leave a comment. Please, and thank you. And, have a MORE COWBELL kind of day. I plan to.