Tags
Crime, Humor, Southalke PD, Starbucks, Starbucks #6394, Theft
I love MY Starbucks Store. It’s invariably filled with talented, educated, creative people. People who are going places.
Some of the customers these Baristas serve also have those admirable traits.
What the heck does this have to do with police sitting like bumps on my pickle?
[Yes. I know I could not write that were I of the male gender. Most likely, a member of the male gender would not write that either out of fear of being called a gherkin.]
But, I digress.
First, let’s examine definitions…
In a pickle: According to Phrases.org.uk (Yes, the Brits get credit for this one, too)…
In a pickle (or, in trouble) “…was originally an allusion to being as disoriented and mixed up as the stewed vegetables that made up pickles.”
Disregarding the icky fact that it went on to state that, during medieval times, hot shots (aka Royalty) often had their pickle juice stewed with the meat of troublesome children, I found this definition helpful.
Sitting Like a Bump on a Pickle: I have heard only one person (other than me) use this phrase. It is a cliché twist on Bump on a Log. According to WikiAnswers, Bump on a Log means “unmoving, inactive, stupidly silent.”
I choose to eliminate the last of these three definitions because…
- I have a great deal of respect for law enforcement officers
despite theas evidenced by the fact that I married one. - They put their lives on the line for us.
- They are a constant presence, reminding us to be good citizens and follow
inconveniently lowspeed limits. - The police department in this suburban town may be understaffed.
- There may come a time when I have to finagle my way out of a traffic violation, and can not be certain someone will not bring this to the attention of Southlake PD.
MY PICKLE
Starbucks #6394 in Southlake is my office away from home. A bit over a week ago, I walked outside to answer an incoming call. Since my iPhone was in my purse, I took said purse with me, and plunked it on a table immediately outside the door. I then wandered about chatting via Bluetooth.
Courtesy of Coffee Master, Jonathan
I returned to my seat inside the store sans purse.
I have no excuse.
None.
Zero.
If you care about my pride, self-esteem and will-to-live, please suggest one in comments.
One of the aforementioned talented Baristas (who will be featured in a future article) continued his Social Media consultation session with me, including design of a new banner for this glob. Within minutes, the authoritarive voice of my Bluetooth announced, “There is no cell phone currently connected.”
[The exact wording may be a bit off, and I can’t test it with my new iPhone. Why? I’ve since misplaced my Bluetooth. Temporarily! What a Gherkin. *head*desk*thunk*]
Jonathan, another aforementioned talented Barista created and sent a meme within an hour of the incident. In his defense, he originally used …”will kill you.” I asked that he change it to “pinch” because I don’t want to become the number one suspect in a criminal investigation.
Where is Jonathan going in this world? He completed the grueling process that entitles him to a black Coffee Master apron. So, I would say he’s headed up the ladder at Starbucks. To find out what interests Jonathan, check out his Tumblr Site. He’s a fan of all things beautiful in nature. Bonus! He’s a stellar example of this Starbucks signature: caring, professional, extra-mile Baristas in a clean, well-managed environment.
THE POLICE INVESTIGATION
The Starbucks employees tried to locate my iPhone using Find my Phone feature on the Internet, and provided me with the non-emergency number for the Southlake PD.
Me? I was flitting about like a troublesome child bound for a boiling vat of vinegar, sugar, and pickling spices.
The responding officer took a list of the missing items, including nearly $1,000 in cash I’d intended to take to my Credit Union for deposit in my savings account. Yes. I realize this makes walking away from that purse a dumber move than it already was.
Since that fateful day, I visited the police department twice, sent multiple emails with account numbers, including the locations of charges made with my debit card after the theft (and, after the card had been reported stolen).
[Normally, debit transactions require a PIN. In the good ole’ U.S. of A., we have a nifty option on MasterCard Debit whereby one can select credit if they want additional float time on charges. A purchase transaction can be processed sans access to the PIN.]
The thieves filled their gas tank at my expense to the tune of $50.12 and went on a shopping spree at Guess ($907).
During my second visit to the police department, I learned the file had been suspended.
Why? Because (I was told), “there is an organized gang working in this area, waiting to steal women’s purses when they turn their backs on them, and we have been unable to ID any of them.”
So…
In effect, they told me to pound sand these prolific criminals (20 purses stolen in one week in Southlake) had not yet left actionable clues as to identity, and were no longer worthy of investigation. My husband called and spoke with the Sergeant of the Detective Division. The gist of that conversation, “We know our money is gone, but — as a retired police officer — I hate to see criminals go unchallenged.”
A detective called me yesterday morning to let me know he was now assigned to my case. Those unauthorized charges?
Those took place in Dallas and it would be my responsibility to file a complaint with Dallas PD. Which would then require that the Dallas PD (1) take an interest in a theft that occurred outside their own jurisdiction, and (2) coordinate with Southlake PD to secure video surveillance tapes.
The video surveillance in Starbucks in Southlake? Erm. Yeah. He’d get on that.
He did. He called Starbucks for the Intel on contact information.
I used Sent Messages on my new iPhone to provide MY Starbucks with the Intel provided to Southlake PD days earlier.
THE STARBUCKS RESPONSE
In addition to in-store assistance when the theft occurred, Cameron Spivey, the manager of the store completed an incident report to put the theft on record. A representative from STARBUCKS headquarters contacted me the night the report was filed, and apologized for my loss while visiting their location. He provided a STARBUCKS internal case number and contact information.
He also gifted $25.00 to my STARBUCKS card as a way of thanking me for my loyalty as a customer. Something they were under no obligation to do, nor anything I deserved for being dumb enough to leave my purse unattended.
The Baristas (my friends) at Starbucks? They have since asked that I not tip or treat them because of my loss. They feel my pain. This place is family.
The only complaint I have about their actions during this event was that they loaned me the store phone to call my husband.
They had no idea I would sooner throw myself in a vat of pickling juice and let Hot Shot Medieval Dudes gnaw on a thigh than tell my husband my purse was stolen. This made the second time in so many months I unwittingly separated myself from my purse while in public. The first time? A late night bolt to STARBUCKS for a pound of Guatemala Antigua Cone Ground ended with my car backing itself into a pretty silver one. After locating the owners of that car, and exchanging insurance Intel, I left my purse on the car trunk when I drove away. This doth not a happily ever after ending make. Forsooth.
SO, HOW ABOUT YOU?
Have you ever been the victim of a crime? Felt helpless knowing the culprits would likely get away with the crime again and again? Wanted to run away from home before calling to confess a Random Act of Stupid? [My destination of choice was the Denali National Forest Park and Preserve.] Most importantly, have you yet thought of a good reason why I would leave my purse unattended?
Share! Please share your stories.
Gloria Richard 
Okay, scrolling, involved in the read, and what do I see? Liam Neeson and the top caption.
HOOWWLLED.
What I find curious, Gloria, is why no one is asking for surveillance tapes from the gas station or Guess (at least the thief(ves) have good taste).
If this was a random one of opportunity, that’s a lot of energy to put into chasing down one naughty 12-year-old. But when the police know it’s a professional ring, and the thieves are actively seeking out these opportunities?
Perhaps you can take out an ad in the local paper.
Attention: Women There is an active gang, as yet identified by police, swiping unattended purses. The crime only takes a moment. We can’t catch them, but we can steal their opportunities. Don’t let go of your purse, don’t wander from your grocery cart. Better, stuff your purse with filled doggie doo-doo bags and keep your cash and ID in your pocket. Steal their chances, and give back a little of the anxiety they so generously give to their victims.
I agree with you, Sherry. Love the suggested ad. I would so do that if I could afford to. More to the point, why aren’t the police sending out alerts? Posting alerts on storefronts? Taking time to at least look at available surveillance tapes — there are four in the interior of Starbucks.
Wasn’t Jonathan’s meme great? I love that guy.
When I walk into this location, I want to break into a rendition of the theme song from Cheers.
Poor Gloria … I applaud Sherry’s sentiments. I “feel” your pain. Yes, I understand your frustration. BUT, BUT, BUT … having been that stupid myself not once but TWICE I must answser your question:
“Most importantly, have you yet thought of a good reason why I would leave my purse unattended?”
Sadly, there are no good reasons why perfectly intelligent, modern women are so darn stupid.
It is said that the person who leaves temptation in the path of another, has only themselves to blame for whatever harm comes to them.
Leave a thousand ten dollar bills on the table while strangers are doing construction work in your house? Walk in a dark alley in Hell’s Kitchen wearing hot pants? Or maybe what I did in Boca Raton, Florida ten years ago.
I left the car running, keys in the ignition, doors open and spent an hour doing grocery shopping. My only loss … a quarter of a tank of gas.
Had I done something that stupid in New York, the car would have been gone before I got to the front door of the supermarket 🙂
Love you … but the only reason you left your purse unattended is that you had a brain fart 🙂
Thank you, Florence. At least there is a valid medical term for my condition. I feel much better knowing I suffer from Cerebral Flatulence. Hopefully, modern science will one day find a cure. Until then…
I will continue to surround myself with a Cerebral Flatulence Support Group. Based on your (mis)adventures, you are eligible to join. Please don’t ask for the spot of treasurer. I’m already finagling a way to nab that one.
It may or may not be a twelve step program. I’ll get back to you as soon as I can hear myself think over the…
er…never mind.
Yeah, just what a garden variety neurotic needs … another 12 step program. For me they had to extend it to 24 steps you know 🙂
UGH! Gloria, I’ve had my identity stolen before where I had to close up my accounts and dispute charges as well. It is a mongo pain in the a**. I’m so sorry. But I’m seriously impressed with how Starbucks handled it and it makes me love them even more. They are good peeps. I hope it gets resolved for you soon. 😦
Thanks, Jess! Glad to find another lover of the Wunnerful World of Starbucks.
As for me? I’m fine. It is resolved to the best of my ability. Fraud alerts everywhere.
I suspect they’re finished with me and trolling for fresh victims. That’s the frustrating part. It’s been going on in this Soccer Mom mecca and there is no word-on-the-street about it.
Of all the things in all the world to lose, money is (IMHO) the least important.
Oh, my darling friend…that whole misadventure sucketh big time. As for why you walked away from your purse? Hmmm. It could be that the thieves were actually closer than you knew and one did something to distract you enough to walk away. Believe it or not, this is a common theme in team theft situations. Back when I worked for a wireless carrier we were setting up a new kiosk inside a retail store. We had 3 phones that hadn’t yet been activated as our opening was the following day. We were in the process of tethering them to security (there were 3 of us). Someone came over and asked a question and backs got turned. Turned around and phones were gone…no witnesses. Thankfully, these days those Find My Phone apps can track back right to the thief’s front door….(No, I don’t recommend you go…though you’re welcome to send Liam).
My personal brush with crime where I knew the culprit would get away? A former co-worker was fired for calling in sun poisoned one time too many. He decided that somehow this was my fault. We suspected he keyed my car in the parking lot, but there were no witnesses. Later I wound up working with one of his former friends who confirmed my suspicion.
Yes, Kitt, it did sucketh big time. 😉
I appreciate the potential “out,” cutie, but I suspect Florence nailed it with Cerebral Flatulence. My brain is its own Distraction Attraction.
Now, keying your car would – IMHO – be worse. Mine was a crime of opportunity. Yours? It was personal. Directed at you and your personal property by someone you knew.
Ouch!
Only you can turn a seriously nettlesome event into a lol blog post. Sadly, I don’t have any fancy excuse to fabricate for you. It reminds me when my iPad was stolen. I could see it on Find My iPhone in the Bronx while I stood in my Marriott Manhattan hotel room. I only wished I had my car so I could follow the blue dot.
I truly didn’t expect any fancy help with an excuse, Carole.
Instead, why don’t you get into a heated argument and let me listen? That would burn off any lingering frustration I might have.
Bonus! I’d get another chance to prove you said [blank blank] in English.
I can visualize you sitting not-so-quietly in your Manhattan hotel room watching the blue dot of your phone move about the city.
We’ll cover each others backs at Nationals, ‘kay?
Gloria, How terrible. A time or two I have misplaced my wallet with charge cards in it while out and about and the sinking feeling in my stomach was horrible. I don’t envy you any of this but I have to agree that you got a darn good blog out of it! 🙂 I hope they catch the thieves too.
I hear you on that sinking feeling, Sharla Rae. Most of the time, I locate said wallet on the front seat of my car, in my computer case, beneath the Starbucks Very Berry Crumb Cake bag.
Thanks for your visit and especially the kind words about this article.
One day, these dudes will mess up and a police department or victim will get a license number.
The more I think about it, the more I like Sherry’s idea to plant cheap purses filled with icky things for their surprise.
Oh! Oh! A stake-out with a pranked out purse. Erk! Erk! I’d need police protection. *heavy sigh*
Gloria
I’m just too kind to call you a @#$%^&*!!! for leaving your purse unattended. Don;t ever do that in Europe, or anywhere else in the world either. In Europe, if something isn’t actually screwed down, it’ll be gone in ten minutes (assuming it’s heavy and takes 9.5 minutes to get someone to help carry it off).
Really, I’m sorry for you. It’s a horrible sinking feeling knowing you’ve been robbed. I had a jacket nicked once. That was horrible. Especially as it was literally freezing and I had to wait for the bus. In your parlance, I was a frozen pickle by the time I got home (I’m avoiding more colorful descriptions here).
Glad to hear about the SB though. I’ll stop especially if I’m ever passing just to give them a tip 🙂
Cheers!
White’s Chapel and 1709 in Southlake, Nigel. I’m here 5 days out of seven writing. GREAT place to work. One of the off-duty Baristas is sitting across the table from me working on a YA SciFi Novel.
Yes, I know I deserved that stroll down the *shift*number* row
Much of my current disdain is directed at the Southlake PD. I’m certain procedures haven’t changed much. A call from Southlake Detective to Dallas PD. Hey! We’re working a case on a stolen purse. A card was used in your jurisdiction.
IF they would WORK the cases, they MIGHT one day get lucky and secure an actionable lead.
Money’s gone. Lesson learned. I carry a winky purse that stays on my person now.
Mostly.
I WILL NOT got the fanny pack route. I need no attention drawn to that part of my anatomy.
Sounds like you need some velcro to attach that pocketbook to your body! Sorry to hear that happened to you. It sucks. It also sounds like you have a great Starbucks hang out at.
Yes! Velcro! (I feared you might suggest a fanny pack. Those mess with my funky bohemian JuJu.)
I have found THE BEST Starbucks for hanging about, Phil.
You do know you’re killing my eat healthy will power with your all-things-wonderful-about-New-York-food, right?
If anyone pops in later. Visit Phil’s blog. He’s a Regular New York Guy hoot.
Oh, Gloria, I feel so badly for you! This could have happened to anyone with thieves lurking around Sbux waiting for you to turn your back. I see women leave their purses all the time at the coffee shop. I lectured my niece the other day on leaving her purse in the cart with the smartphone on top of said purse. We all do it. Sad that you had to pay the price. But, of course, you have turned it into pickle lemonade with a blog post! Woot! Way to go.
And I would have dreaded calling my hubby. If yours is like mine it will be held over your head forever. Just when you think they’ve forgotten they’ll ask you about it and you’ll want to hit them with a pickle!
Right you are on all points, Jessica. And, trust me, the pickle I’ll want to hit him with will not be of the gherkin variety.
Appreciate your sympathy, my friend. Eh. Money. It comes. It goes. At least all cards are back in my wallet, and I have an updated photo on my driver’s license.
My biggest regret is that I’d considered giving the Starbucks crew a bigger than normal weekly tip earlier that afternoon. I decided to stay with the usual weekly “bonus.” Curses! I’d much rather they had it.
I feel your pain too, Gloria. No, I have not (knock on wood) been the victim of such a crime. Yet. (knock on wood again). But that doesn’t mean I don’t sympathize. I had someone break into my apartment once when I lived in LA, and that was bad enough.
Thanks for your sympathy, Elizabeth. Yes, I knocked on MY wood table here at MY Starbucks for you.
O.M. Gosh! If you had someone break into your apartment, you were the victim of what I consider to be a worse crime.
Someone inside your home — breathing the air of the space in which you live, work, cook, and sleep. No! What an invasion of all things loved and cherished.
Oh man, this sucks! I still like to believe people are good and that a woman can set her purse down without fear of it being taken, but I’m naive that way. I can’t believe the police! What morons. Seriously, they suspended the case? I’m thinking you gave them great stuff to work with. That’s fabulous about Starbucks, though. Too bad they don’t have their own police force. You’d already have your purse and a latte!
Tameri! You took time to visit while on your summer adventure. How very sweet of you. I need to bop over and catch up with what’s happening.
They unsuspended the case after my husband spoke with the sergeant of the detective division. But, really? Ask me to file a complaint with Dallas PD? The chances Dallas — a mega monster of big city crime — would take an interest in theft of a purse from an outlying suburb? From a complaint filed by Suzie Q Citizen? Zip.
Police departments can and do ask for each other’s help on cases that cross jurisdictions. The detective CHOSE to drop the Dallas PD in my lap. He could have secured an assist from Dallas PD on the video surveillance.
Note: After this blog article, I am a obeying ALL traffic regulations, stopping at all yellow lights, and staying within posted speed limits in Southlake.
I’m sure they don’t take time to Google for blogs written about Southlake PD, but just in case…
Ugh! I’m so sorry this happened to you, Gloria. There’s little worse than feeling publicly violated in such a way. (One of the best post titles ever, by the way. :)) Hope things have made a major turn for the better!
Hey, August! Thanks for the visit and the sympathy. It’s more than the police gave me — including the one who resides at
roughlyexactly the same address as mine.Those gherkins. IYKWIM. 😉
Having your purse stolen is one of the worst things in the world. Well, one of the worst things that has ever happened to me, anyway. My car was broken into (driver’s side window SMASHED with a large rock) and my bag AND lunch box were taken. In my bag was, of course, my netbook computer, my iPod, my LiveScribe pen (yeah, i apparently carried ALL of my eggs in the same basket), and my purse items – wallet, etc. The kicker? My UNBACKED-UP flash drive with all my writing on it. *sob*
I’d just finished all the edits on the current WIP when this happened. My hardrive was backed up to the jump drive which was backed up to… nowhere. I lost 7 years worth of writing.
In 45 minutes, the crooks racked up over $1,000 between three cards. One of them was my debit card. We immediately called the credit card companies and my bank and got everything worked out.
The netbook, ipod, and LiveScribE? Those can be replaced (and were by my insurance for the most part). But 7 years worth of my writing life? Irreplacable.
I’ve sinced switched to Dropbox for storing my files. And yes, I do back up everything at least once a month onto an external hard drive I keep at home.
I felt sick for days afterward. It is such a horrible, violating feeling to have your stuff stolen and I’m so sorry to hear about your purse incidents!
Oh My Gosh, Claire!
I can not imagine losing seven years worth of writing. The money? Yes, that hurt, but it won’t make a difference five years from now — well, even one year from now, actually — given my penchant for retail therapy to cure writer’s block.
The unauthorized charges? Yes. My credit union took the hit for those and made me whole on those charges.
I’m sitting here wondering what could be worse than losing seven years worth of work. (Aside from the obvious loss of life and limb.)
Your work. Your “baby.” Gone. Nope. That’s got to be the worst.
Thanks for the reminder I have free Cloud available through Charter. I’ve simply been too lax about downloading it on my new computer. Your story serves as a loud BOP(!!!!) on my noggin. It will take 5 minutes to set that up. Five minutes versus seven years lost?
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