For those who follow blogs I frequent, you know I attended the DFW Writers Workshop (aka DFW Con) this month.
For those who follow my glob, but not the sites I visit? News Flash!
I attended the DFW Writers Workshop (aka DFW Con) this month.
The rationale for failure to take advantage of this in-my-back-yard conference is as illusive to me as what my brain-to-fingers synapse will produce for my next sentence.
What dipwad marketing genius thought it was a swell idea to name a sandwich shop Blimpies®?
[That “next sentence” is something that’s been noodling in my noggin since I drove by one today. It demonstrates what happens when I free write, fast draft, or answer the telephone while half asleep.]
I rest my case for my think, write, edit writing paradigm.
Okay. So!
In order of presentation in the title:
IMPROV
I loved the session on Improv conducted by Brad Newton at DFWCon. Brad opened the session with a challenge to play, “and, then..”
His point?
Beats the hell out of me.
Following an “and, then” improvisation is useful to writers at a sticking point, or while plodding plotting. This same theory holds true for all real, imaginary, and miscellaneous conundrums in life.
Will all thought trains lead to logical resolution?
Not if you’re me always.
And, then (!) guess what you get to do if the And, then train leads to the world’s largest ball of twine in Cawker City, Kansas? Well, you can:
- Change the setting for your story to Cawker City (if you’re applying this to a writing problem),
- Visit Cawker City, Kansas for
medicationmeditation to resolve your conundrum, - Take this as evidence that your brain needs Retail Therapy, or (in the event of Retail Therapy Budget Constraint Complex),
- You could hop back to Sticking Point Station And Then climb on a new And Then train.
BOOGERS
What does this have to do with boogers?
Throughout this session, Brad Newton asked for volunteers from the audience to participate in Improv Challenges. He was on the second round of an exercise designed to demonstrate The Stroop Effect.
The Stroop effect is a demonstration of the phenomenon that the brain’s reaction time slows down when it has to deal with conflicting information.
For each round, two audience volunteers were directed to repeatedly challenge each other with the question, “What ‘cha doing?” The person asked would say something quite different from the action they were pantomiming.
Nigel Blackwell had the mis good fortune to sit beside me at this session. Nigel and I volunteered for one of these rounds.
I got to go first, and chose to pantomime brushing my teeth.
Nigel: “What ‘cha doing?”
Gloria: “Picking my nose.”
[Had Nigel had a booger dangling from non-existent nose hairs, this would have demonstrated a Random Act of Kindness.]
Nigel pantomimes picking his nose.
Gloria: “What ‘cha doing?”
Nigel: “Milking a cow.”
I squat and begin to move my hands as if fondling cow udders. [Which sounds kind of kinky when I let my imagination wander to other species, places, and things. Just sayin…]
Nigel: “What ‘cha doing?”
Silence. Nigel continues to dig for booger gold in the mineshaft of his nostrils.
Repeats, “What ‘cha doing?”
Silence.
My brain panic-scans for Nigel’s next task–-rejecting all options not defined as embarrassing. My thighs scream for relief from that squat position.
Nigel continues to pick his nose awaiting a new directive. I was too busy tugging on imaginary cow udders to notice whether or not he had his finger up his nasal passage.
If he did, his brain was getting direct stimulation by the time I grudgingly gave him something sane to pantomime.
WEDGIES
I don’t recall what my ultimate answer was, but within minutes of exiting stage right, I thought, “Dagnabbit! Dislodging a wedgie.”
The point to this exercise was that we can learn to stretch our minds, seek answers outside the obvious, and defy what we perceive to be established plot or character essentials.
The answer to life and writing conundrums may lie in giving the issue a body part brain stimulating wedgie, and attempting to dislodge it before your And Then train redirects to Cawker City, Kansas.
PIMPING NIGEL BLACKWELL
Unauthorized and not-prior-approved pimp love for Nigel Blackwell is the least I can do for inducing public nose picking, so (naturally) that’s all I plan to do.
Nigel, recently published (!) his debut novel, Paris Love Match. Click here if you want a chance at winning one of three autographed copies of Paris Love Match.
I bought the ePub version of the book because I was too impatient for the contest to end.
Here’s what I said for my comment overview of a review crafted while in Cawker City The Amazon.
Masterful Dialog Runs; Page-turner; Brilliant debut novel.
Spring some Ka-Ching and purchase a copy of Paris Love Match in The Amazon.
THE BOOK, THE BLURB
Paris Love Match is a caper in the style of the accidental tourist, which all occurs in a single day in Paris.
The hero is Piers Chapman, an engineering geek whose jeans are too short, whose mother phones him too often, and who is in Paris to update the software in one of his company’s cranes.
The heroine is Sidney Roux, a worldly-wise, drop-dead beauty who is tired of falling for good-looking men who treat her badly. Mind you, she carries a little bit of an attitude and something of a secret, but she’s lived in a world that never gave her anything, and she’s learned to look after herself first.
When the sale of a painting between a ruthless dictator and a murderous mobster turns into a raging gun battle with the police in tow, Piers and Sidney get caught up and wanted by all sides.
If they’re going to stay alive, they’re going to have to put aside their fears and prejudices, and work together. It’s not an easy thing for either of them to do.
But if they can, they might just find more than stolen goods …
SHOW US SOME BLOG LOVIN’
It’s your turn now. You know I do my best work in hot, steamy scene writing comments.
Have you ever taken a Stroop Effect cognitive test? Tried Improvisation? Willingly and with insidious glee placed a friend in an embarrassing position? <=== I almost changed that last word to situation, but chose not to.
Just because.
Talk! I will comment back atcha’ from wherever in the world my And Then train stopped.
I’m never sitting next to you at a conference, Miss Gloria, ever! Poor Nigel. Good thing you are pimping his book for him. 🙂
Glad you all had fun at the con! Off to check out what Paris Love Match might really be about, because I doubt it is about the Stroop Effect!
You may not have a choice, Jessica. I lurk. I wait. I pounce.
The conference was informative and fun. I have pictures to prove it.
I emailed Nigel for his book blurb, so I can add it to the end of the post. Yes. I know it’s on his blog somewhere. I plan to use Social Media ineptitude as my defense.
AND, it’s been added.
I chose to append this comment to yours, Jessica, because I didn’t want those who follow to think you’re whack-a-doodle (ier).
Nothing wrong with whack-a-doodlers…
KA-SHNORT! You never disappoint, G-man.
I aim to please Gloria.
Jessica. Yes, I’ve learnt to be a LOT more careful who I sit by at conferences! But, you know, its always the ones who seem quiet …
In what universe did I seem quiet to you, Nigel? Was I in my imaginary world when I attended DFW Con?
I’m not sitting next to her at a conference either, Jessica…but wait, I DID. I believe that was at lunch though, where we could sit around reading “How to Live With A Huge Penis” and laughing our guts out.
There were no boogers involved.
Not sure this exercise would have expanded my creative horizons but sure sounds like it was a good time. 🙂
Hey, Sharla Rae! Thanks for the visit. I know from Writers in the Storm that you’re far more focused and organized than I am. Congratulations! You join an elite 85.78% of the writing world’s population in that membership.
For me, anything that replaces “YEBBIT” is a learning opportunity — especially when it comes to writing.
I would have loved to see that exercise in real time. Except Gloria might notice I was there and then I’d be vulnerable to being tossed up in front of everyone to perform.
Does DFW Con start selling alcohol that early in the day? How early is too early to be drinking in Texas?
*Note to self: Always bring disguise options in your suitcase if attending a conference at the same place as Gloria. Also, find a hip flask that blends in with your Cat Woman disguise. Just in case.
Congrats to Nigel on his new release!
No worries, Tami! I choose my
victimsshow partners with the same discretion I used back in my single days.Does he/she really want to be here? Do this?
Oh, wait! That’s single life through the correction lens. I went out with anyone who offered free drinks and dinner. That said…
I would never, ever force an introvert on stage with me.
Promise!
Phew! I was beginning to worry I’d take a seat at a future conference and all attendees who read this post would pack their belongings and move to alternate seating far, far away.
Somehow, I think all the wrong kind of juices might have gotten stimulated at watching you “milk” poor Nigel. At least that’s how the image appears in my imagination. You-squatting in front of Nigel…with those motions…Um, yeah…milkin’ for something. LOLOL!
As for his book, it sounds terrific!
First, your naughty mind is exactly what I meant when I said “given a different species…” in reference to the motions for milking a cow.
HOWLING that you visualized me facing Nigel while this pantomime played out. THAT would almost have been to much for me. And, Nigel? He’d be held accountable for the entire incident.
No. We faced the audience.
Relax, Nigel. I got that cleared up before you got here.
His book is terrific. He brings his British dry wit to the pages, and has stellar dialog runs. Character voices? Nailed ’em.
I will be over to visit your blog soon. Can’t miss out on the GB fun.
I’m laughing so hard I’m practically cryin’ here. Even facing away from him, I’ve always pictured Nigel to be “proper” (of course that could be due to the accent). So the hand motions…with your vivacious personality…and him trying not to look at you… How was that entire room not doubled over in laughter at the antics?
Yeah, my “proper” quotient took a bashing that day! The rest of the images I’ll leave to your imagination (which are probably way more interesting that reality!!!)
Poor you… And you’re probably right. My imagination can get pretty wild…as I’m sure you’ve already noticed.
I bought Nigel’s book! Waiting for him to mail me a signed copy. 🙂
You two are hilarious! I’m so bummed I missed the improv class, I know it had to be fun. I did attend an improv workshop at the Madison Writers Institute 2 years ago. I participated in something similar to an AND, THEN game and ended up dating two guys. LOL
Well, dang! I thought my iPhone reply fed to WordPress.
You would have ROCKED the improv workshop, Jess.
For the record. Nigel and I did not begin dating after DFW Con. He (1) picks his nose, (2) has an aversion to women with cow dung on their shoes, and (3) is proper and…
Oh! Right! We’re both married.
I wasn’t dating two men in real life!!! LOL Just in the improv. Hahahaha, oh I hope you didn’t think that was a true story.
I am cracking up!
I still think it was a true story, Jess. You’re just trying to maintain that rep that matches your cute-as-a-bug’s-eyelash looks.
LMAO Gloria! Then again, you always do that to me.
I’ve never attended a writing workshop (which is probably reflected in my work) of any kind. I think the improv class would have been a hoot (picturing somebody goosing an imaginary udder).
I agree with Kitt, I don’t know how the entire room wasn’t pitched over in bladder-squeezing hysterics.
You are so clever, Gloria. Your whit and snark are typically whipped out at break-neck speeds, so I’m thinking that extended periods of squatting, coupled with fondling, must be your kryptonite. *must remember this*
Willingly placed a friend in embarrassing positions??? Whenever possible!
*wicked grin*
G-man!
So sorry for the delayed reply. I thought the response from my iPhone would feed to WordPress.
Trust me, I was thinking of anything but the obvious sexual innuendo while I desperately searched for options. Yes. Many popped into my noggin. My problem was that none of them met my “have fun with Nigel” criteria.
Which left me…
Standing in front of a group of people, acting as if I’d gone daft, and milking a non-existent cow.
I knew you’d latch onto that …placed a friend in embarrassing positions… comment. I thought about the fun you’d have with it when I chose not to edit.
*Wicked grin*?
*Saucy wink* back atcha’!
Sometimes it is best to leave such gems unedited.
Please don’t worry about the delay!
I don’t know whether to be turned on or grossed out here! Wedgies, boogers, pimping, milking. So much wit and sexual innuendo going on! I felt dirty reading this. Then again it sounds like the Writers Workshop was worth experiencing.
If we ever got on a stage together it would explode!
There were valid points and valuable lessons learned at this session, Fabio. Go with turned on. Add impressed? No? Rats!
The thought of being dragged on stage with you? I don’t know whether to feel fear or glee. I’ll go with glee. It’s more fun. Bonus! I have my practiced shtick of milking a cow should I need to think.
Thanks Gloria … I think. Never before have I been pimped for picking my nose! Funny how you always manage to come up with these firsts 🙂
It was fun though. If that guy is back next year, you better watch out!!
Cheers 🙂
Game on, Nigel!
I’ll even let you take the first round.
We are at risk of him singling us out, you know.
“I will ask for volunteers throughout this session. So, don’t be shy. Except for you two in row three on the right aisle. Yes. You! (Gloria) and You! (Nigel)”
Note to self: Sit near Gloria at any upcoming conference sessions for wild and eye-opening conversation.
It sounds like you had a great time and absorbed some knowledge that will help with writing. I’ve somehow missed info about Nigel’s book. It sounds terrific!
Yeah! I now have one person willing to sit beside me at upcoming conferences.
I’ll duck and pretend to sort through my conference bags while you rope in some more, Brinda.
I’m getting caught up on my emails after a delicious long weekend with my daughter and wee granddaughter visiting and what do I find? Gloria has been nose-picking and teat-pulliing for an audience! You never fail to make me laugh, Gloria. So funny.
Elaine! I’m honoUred you took time from visiting with your wee granddaughter to read and comment.
And, thank you! I knew there was a teat word for “udders.” But, I spelled in t-e-e-t and got the dreaded red squiggly.
This calls for another blog post in the future to include the word teat.
Stay tuned.
People are worried about sitting next to you at a conference, Gloria.
Me? I get to share a room with you. Note to self, inspect night cream before applying. Check all shoe straps and bra straps before wearing. Hide tweezers so they aren’t mysteriously confiscated for unauthorized nose-hair plucking….
Geesh, Sherry! I won’t have to borrow your tweezers. I’ll pluck my nose hairs en route, and will likely be properly nose-groomed before I hit Texarkana.
Yes! You get to share a room with me. In reference to your Notes to Self? I’m not worried. I crossed those off my shenanigans list (special section in my revolutionary new notebook). I have 37 left.
*grin*
Those kinds of shenanigans are best when directed at other people’s rooms. Just get a hold of their room card let the shenani-fun roll.
I bet that Sherry would be a very willing and capable shenani-cohort. 😉
Oh, Sherry is a willing and capable shenani-cohort, G-man. The trouble? Sherry doesn’t have a public rep for that sort of behavior.
All she’ll have to do is step back and roll her eyes in my direction.
Ah, but that is the beauty of it. Use some misdirection – you take the attention as the obvious shenani-fiend, and while people are carefully watching you, Sherry can be off in another direction to wreak havoc.
😉
It’s think-beyond-the-obvious that makes me (1) love blogjacking w/you and(2) grateful you’re on our side in the espionage game, G-man.
😉
You are hilarious! Love reading the blog!
Thanks for the compliment, Lee. Enjoyed your comment over on the Who me? page, too. I know your comment provides blog linky-love. I’ll be over to visit you.
You have been warned.
This is too funny, Gloria! Thanks for the laughs this morning.
No, I have never taken the Stroop test. I’ve never heard of it. Put friends in embarrassing positions? Probably, although what immediately comes to mind is being on the receiving end of this from our good friend Sherry Isaac, a little virtual world exposure, in public and on air. I still have to get her back for that one day 🙂
Details! I want details, Sharon.
Little Missy Do-I-Look-Like-I-Would-Do-That Sherry deserves some payback-is-hell love.
WOOT! We’ll be together in HOTlanta in July for Nationals. Tons of time to plot.
That improv class was so much fun! You two were hilarious! Now I must go add Nigel’s book to my list. 🙂
Yes! Add Nigel’s book to your list, Diana. You will not be sorry. His dry wit shines.
Lest everyone think the IMPROV class was comparable to taking basket weaving in College; I used the “and, then” technique to work through a plot problem. It works. Can’t give away what changes it prompted. Those would be spoilers. 😉
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