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Time upon a once, in the tiny Nation of Glob, promises many in a noodle-like noggin lived.

And, piddled.

And, farted.

And, were fruitful and multiplied.

[How the ‘fruitful and multiplied’ happened in the midst of piddles and farts remains one of the rarest of secrets in the Nation of Glob.]

The Princess of the Nation of Glob, Noodle Noggin, followed herself around for snippets and smidgens of days.

She picked up shiny baubles, wrote Novellas-as-Blog-Comments, and played a fun game called Swipe the MasterCard at Sassy Flamingo.

[A wonderfully funky boutique that incited Bohemian Chic squeaks of MasterCard mania.]

The moat surrounding Noodle Noggin’s impressive Tower of Goals was two drips shy of a mud puddle. Bricks and mortar from ideas past and present littered the ground.

Despite the glee found in her tiny, titillating, tempting* and fun nation, Noodle Noggin skidded to a halt when she happened upon a large brick, an important brick, a brick about to topple from her Tower of Goals.

[*Zack Kullis, Flashbangs and Fiction, only thinks he’s the master of alliteration. If he posts, you should read it. He’s an F.B.I. operative and Subject Matter Expert for all things under(space optional)cover. His comments sometimes beat mine in snark — a situation I find extremely annoying challenging.]

The large brick teetered, held in place by a discarded bubble-gum wisp-of-hope it would not fall. For, if it did, it would lie in agony beside the Tower of Hope and forever after become…

ARGH! (Another Regret on Golden Heart!)

Noodle Noggin shored up the brick with an *experienced* glob of Bazooka, and sucked up the courage to call upon the services of Tower-of-Goals Masons.

While she awaited their arrival (with much trepidation), she studied the litter surrounding the tower.

It was either regrettable timing or Noodle Noggin’s comeuppance that caused Reality and Check to find her downside-up with Sassy skirts hanging, imitating a penguin in the picture selected for her new Glob banner.

The Tower of Goals masons, Reality and Check, arrived astride KA-snorting steeds.

One of them looked alarmingly like Sherry Isaac, Career Coach Extraordinaire. (And, co-inventor of the infamous Ka-SNORT!)

The other? She was the spittin’ image of Margie Lawson, the craft instructor who made Noodle Noggin believe she had a voice worth reading, and filled her writer’s craft toolbox to the brim.

The first task for Reality and Check was to affix an EDICT to the door of the Tower.

THE EDICT

Enough Dallying in Counter-productive Tasks!

You will, forthwith hie thee to the Tower and remain therein until your manuscript doth reach a Golden Heart worthy conclusion.

Forsooth.

And, for the sake of all that is decent, right thyself. The view from your Noodle Noggin downside-up position doth to our eyes suggest a bikini wax would serve you well.

We grant you thirty minutes to send forth proclamations on what awaits your adoring long-suffering followers.

Noodle Noggin righted herself and put forth Glob announcements, to wit…

THE NEW GLOB

That JENNY HANSEN More Cowbell woman believes my banner does not reflect my voice and blog content. To which I say…

AMEN!

Snark Park is the tentative new theme. Each time I wander from that theme, Undie Chronicles Jenny snaps my non-existent (yet) black lace garter.

NATALIE HARTFORD has a tagline I want to use: Being Myself; Everyone Else is Taken.

I asked for and received permission to copy her tagline. Natalie and her Blog Heckler Hubby create hysteria (of the “OMG, I can’t believe they just said that variety”) wherever they go.

Here’s some ping-back love for Blog Heckler Hubby because I (gasp!) missed his last post.

Brinda Berry has oodles of iterations for the new banner. In addition to Social Media Savvy posts on The Glob that is only a B-L-O-G when Brinda’s Here, she’s helping me craft my new banner. She is the one who found and purchased the penguin picture.

THE BRICKS ACROSS THE MOTE

With only thirty minutes before she got locked in the Tower, Noodle Noggin tossed bricks across the mote — remnants of the ideas and posts to be completed when she emerges from her prison solitary confinement writing sabbatical.

First the Serious

In my last post, wherein I waxed poetic offered my thoughts on the situation in Benghazi, I pinged back to a post by Cold War Spook and active undercover operative ‘Jay Homes’ on Piper Bayard’s site.

I promised then that I would mention and ping back to his later post on Fallujah, and the missteps of the Intelligence Community and then President Bush.

Piper, ‘Holmes’, and I want to be certain all readers understand the situation and facts presented about Benghazi were non-partisan in nature. It is not a Red or Blue issue.

Read his latest A Tale of Two Cities — Benghazi and Fallujah. Lest you think the Piper/Holmes site is serious all the time, take time to read the latest post. The Twinkie is Dead! Say it isn’t so.

NOW THE RAUNCH SNARK-RIDDLED Upcoming Posts

People from a far away land called England viewed the bricks moved beyond the mote in the Nation of Glob and laughed into their lukewarm lager, thinking Noodle Noggin had also done a fair amount of canoodling.

[Yes, Nigel Blackwell, I put that word in there to make you blush. And, I accept your challenge to post on my progress with e-cigarettes for smoking cessation. Game on! Loved your post today.]

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The Kegel(space optional)Master

Jenny Hansen guest blogged on Natalie Hartford’s site about the KegelMaster, titled Bladder Dominatrix. I found an opportunity to flesh out a quirky character in my manuscript. I made a commitment to call the customer service line with oddball questions that might come from said quirky character.

Why the ‘space optional’, you don’t ask so I ask for you? Because one is a device and the other a skill possessed by some women.

One thought led to another and I ordered one to find out what is was all about. Shhhh. Don’t spoil the surprise for later.

Seven Things

Sharon Clare, published author of the stellar and steamy Love of Her Lives, tagged me. Others before me offered up lyrical quotes from their favorite books.

I chose to go to my “library” (small room, limited reading material, mostly magazines). Look for a post on seven things.

These seven things might include references to an iPhone App (mere 99 cent purchase price!) available for download. When activated, it will rate PERFORMANCE of sexual activity. Yes. It’s true. You can give your partner a score. Who knew? Can I outfox the app? We’ll see.

[Think When Harry Met Sally here.]

Female Sensuality

August McLaughlin knows. I must continue to follow her series on Girl Boners. Here’s the link for the latest one.

In this must-read series, August lays out the facts about female sensuality — both the physiology and the psychology. If you aren’t already tagged into this series, I recommend you hie thee to the link provided.

You’ll thank yourself and/or your woman will thank you.

BONUS! You may even increase your iPhone-generated-sack-skills-scores.

YIKES! It’s Time to Go!

The only communication I’m permitted is follow-up comments on my blog and on-going contact with the outside world via Novellas-as-Blog Comments.

So. TALK to me! Send comments. Send help! Send ideas I can use for my characters!

Until later…

Make it a mud-puddle-stomping day.

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