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When a blog follower and friend sends an email asking if you’re okay, it may be time to put-away the put-offs and make a decision. I must post something today or run the risk that others will think the last mud puddle I jumped into had quick sand lurking at the bottom.
Something pithy…
[Searches brain. Nothing.]
Not “nothing” as in Nada, Zip, Da-dee-do-dah.”
“Nothing” as in “nothing pithy.”
I have a plethora of thoughts and ideas and scraps of virtual paper noodling around in my noggin.
The problem is those noodles are more like Spaghetti Oh-No’s than cohesive, long spaghetti-like strands.
The way my blog thoughts are scrambled reminds me of my old Corporate America days. We had an odd-duck President back-in-the-day who made a habit of wandering the hallowed halls mid-afternoon on Fridays (with good reason).
He fooled no one. He was doing the corporate work ethic equivalent of a bed check. Who remained chained to his or her desk after Chili’s Happy Hour kicked off at 4:00?
One Friday, he stopped at my office door, queried how I was doing and asked if I accomplished much during the week. “Tons! It’s been busy,” I said.
I meant it. I’d been busy all week.
“Really? Name one thing,” he says.
[Insert deer in the headlights look.]
At that moment, the only thing my brain produced was a new (and brilliant) prank we’d begun to play on a kind, but slow-on-the-joke-uptake V.P. in our department.
Baylor Health Services had a hotline. A hot line one could call and punch in the code for a selected topic. After entering the code, we would blind transfer the call to said V.P. and, when he picked up his line, he’d hear a loud, authoritative voice announce the name of the ailment followed by a confident female reciting details on symptoms and treatment options.
How cool is that? Right?
I had the brochure open on my desk, recording the codes for hemorrhoids and in-grown toenails. We’d already run the spectrum of STD’s.
So, what does this have to do with anything?
Well…
It demonstrates my spaghetti oh-no analogy (above). It proves some things leave me speechless. It proves I have to get my noodles in order.
Quickly–like this weekend and beyond quickly.
WHICH MEMBER OF MY GENE POOL WILL I BE THIS WEEKEND?
Like many of you (I assume), I wake up each morning with a Grand Plan to accomplish Great Things in my Gift of Another Happy, Productive Day.
At those moments, and sometimes throughout the entire day, I approach life with the same drive my fourteen-year-old nephew applies to preparation for his third degree black belt in Tae Kwon Do.
Did you get that? Fourteen-years-old.
I can only imagine the amount of time, focus and commitment it takes to learn to make a leap that high, and break through the barrier of that board.
He did it.
He’ll do it again with a five-inch thick board when he tests for that third level.
Yeah. There are days when I focus and act on my Lofty Goals.
I love those days.
But, my personality isn’t suited to a constant diet of discipline (external or internal).
THE YIN WITH THE YANG
There are days when “make a to-do list” remains undone at the end of the day.
There are days when the only thing crossed off my to-do list is…
Wake up! Shower! Dress!
On those days, I more closely resemble my three Y.O. niece who loves to dress herself for dance class.
Those days when, like her, I would spend countless time-outs staring at a corner in the dining room wall for misbehaving.
There are days when I want to indulge my inner child, to dance alone in public (I know you don’t believe me, but I do that), to spread and experience glee.
To wear my bicycle helmet backwards “just because.”
My challenge?
I’m not three-years-old anymore. And, there are times the “just because” days morph into a week. When, despite good intentions, I just want to get up, dress in whatever I want, and smile.
LATE-BREAKING UPDATE INSPIRED BY COMMENTS
For those of you who understand why I see myself in my 3 YO niece, I have another tale to tell about her. This spontaneous picture opportunity was not captured for posterity.
When she was two, her mom told her and her four year old sister to stand against the wall to have their pictures taken in new outfits. Mom got the camera and turned around. Older Sis stood smiling and ready for her photo op. Young 2 YO sis stood facing the wall with her hands in the air.
We are still uncertain when or why she was (at some point in her young life) arrested.
SO WHO WILL I BE THIS WEEK?
I am going to follow myself around for the next five days. It blocks every ones view of my rear, so that already makes my plan a winner.
I’ll maintain a record of what I did*, the blog thoughts I had, and be painfully honest about goals versus accomplishments.
[*Since nap, piddle-fart, and dink-around-on-the-Internet are technically “doing something” those will also be included.]
I’ll see you next Wednesday with the results.
Despite my reputation for creatively skewing fact into fiction, I will be honest.
Mostly.
Leave a note of encouragement. Tell me if you also experience the highs and lows in productivity. Tell me how you cope to achieve balance and/or get through your to-do lists without staring at a corner in the dining room for umpty-ump times each day.
PING-BACK MO JO
Followers! If you haven’t yet discovered the super-talented newbie-to-blogging Zack Kullis, I highly recommend you hop over to a story he recently posted (titled A Tale of Darkness, Fictitious or Not?) It’s the perfect time of year to read his well-written, twisted, and hair-tingling tale of possession. Is it real or is it fictional? You decide. I haven’t yet commented because I don’t yet know. Besides, it’s so dang good, I enjoy rereading it.
And, ahem, should you need more encouragement to get to know Zack, he’s an active FBI agent who has been involved in covert operations, charged through doors with AK47’s, traveled to far-away places. He is one interesting (and, often a KA-SNORT! waiting-to-happen in comments) dude. Can we all say Subject Matter Expert?
Beats the heck out of a cold call to the F.B.I. – which I did when researching my first novel that involved a penny stock scam. Now, I keep seeing drones flying overhead. Zack! Call off your buddies! I did nothing wrong!
Until next time. Keep smiling and dancing…
ERK!
And, producing. Focus, Gloria Jean, Focus.
Gloria Richard 
I know you think I go, go, go, at 50 miles an hour, but I don’t. I haven’t written as much as I’ve wanted and I need to get the third book in my series to my publisher. Here’s the ironic thing. I am more productive when I’m busy than when I have time off. Did that make sense? When I have a weekend at home, I fanatasize that I’ll write entire novels in marathon of writing Friday- Sunday. At the end of the evening, I’ll stand with a heavy stack of papers in my hand and say, “Well, I knocked that one out quickly.” Never happens. Once I slow down, I want to take naps, shop, read, and watch movies. Even errands begin to take over a day. I DO understand.
Brinda! (Who I bumped from her regular bi-weekly post on Wednesday because I knew I needed to get one posted from moi). Are you feeling abused?
I’m sure my readers feel abused and miss your techie guru magic.
Congratulations on release of the print version of The Waiting Booth. I can’t wait to get my signed copy.
I hear ya’ on the “getting more done when we’re busy.” I’ve said it before. I got more writing accomplished when I had a structured work day. Write from 5 to 7 a.m., hit the shower, off to work. And, those two hours in the morning often drove me to write during lunch hours. I even dictated on my way home.
And, er, there were those brilliant prose scribbled on cocktail napkins at happy hour(s). As I said, the corporate-desk-check Pres had good reason to wander those hallowed halls late on Friday afternoons.
Yes, yes and yes, I have days where I feel like goofing off and playing. My play time often involves long coffee dates with friends and reading very important blogs like yours.
I have been known to build virtual stuff on my virtual lawn beside my virtual log cabin surrounded by virtual mountains. Or I may teleport and go visit other friends who could easily look just like Minnie mouse that day. These things loosen me up and make me laugh.
So I can definitely relate to your 3 YO niece who I can see inspires you greatly 🙂 She’s adorable!!
SKA-WEET on the virtual log cabin, Sharon! I have one of my own.
You can join Sherry and me in our pretend next door neighborhood.
TOP SECRET! (Don’t tell my usbandhay.) I am going to have a cabin on a wooded lot in Pennsylvania one day. I’ll make the commute to Canada (Land of the U Hogs).
Gloria….. Gloria Gloria Gloria….
Wow! There’s so much I want to say, but it just isn’t enough. I’ll start with your post.
Great stuff. I feel your pain. Some days are like a Whack-a-Mole game at an amuzement park.
I get up with my eye on one cheeky little bugger at the back of the machine, but then all of these cheekier moles start popping up and down, demanding to get smacked. Those are tough days. At least we’re whacking something, right?
Ying yang is the only approach to life. “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy,” as they say. If I don’t balance my serious side with my “I can’t believe I did that without having a drink first” side, then things don’t run as smoothly.
(I agree with Sharon, your niece is a doll)
Now for the pingback. You have some serious mojo coming your way. When I saw what you wrote, I got all verklempt…. Seriously though, I couldn’t believe I was reading such amazing things. Shukran habibti! (thank you dear one)
Don’t worry about the drones, Gloria, just make a hat out of tinfoil and you’ll be good. 😉 It’s the toilet surveillance that you have to watch out for (we had somebody convinced we were doing this). Honestly, you wouldn’t believe some of the complaints we get.
Thanks again for the shout, ❤ ya, and I'm good to share my expertise any time. IYKWIM
Zack
Zack…Zack, Zack, Zack
It was my pleasure to promote your talent, your story, and your blog.
It makes me look good when I promote talented writers and rocking blog buddies. Besides, since we now have an Official Mutual Admiration Society, I get to be President of your Fan Club, right? And, you agree to guest
globB-L-O-G one day on some funny EF BEE EYE stories — that don’t violate national security, of course.KA-SNORT! on the caper with the suspect/target/unsub thinking you bugged his toilet. Inquiring minds want to know what the code name might have been for that operation. I’m fascinated with operation code names. Think the agency is interested in having someone freelance on that gig? I’ll get back to you with rates and some samples. Hosen Tush seems too obvious — not to mention German.
I obviously agree on that niece of mine and was totally miffed when her mom missed a once-in-a-toddler-time picture opportunity on the day she asked her two girls to stand against the wall to have their pictures taken. When the mom got her camera and turned back around, the younger one — the one featured in this article — stood facing the wall and had her hands in the air.
36 point KA-SNORT on the IYKWIM! I’ll be careful what I wish for…IYKWIM.
I certainly agree to guest glob for you anytime! There aresome doozie stories.
LMAO Hosen Tush, we definitely need to get you in their for operational code name assistance. The Hosen Tush (is was a woman) thing was a poor woman who came in and talked to our duty agent about her toilet. Really sad. She honestly believed we put a video camera in her toilet and were spying on her. (Peeping John?)
Your toilet… With a camera… KA-SNORT
Your niece sounds like a hoot!
BWAHAhahaha! on Peeping John, Zack. I’ll bet she ate nothing but cheese for months just in case her suspicions were true. Actually, I shouldn’t laugh. She was obviously either (1) addled, (2) paranoid, or (3) proud of her rear and hopeful you guys would take a hint.
Despite the rep established by J. Edgar, the day the F.B.I. plunks a surveillance device in a toilet bowl…
Logically segues to:
SKA-Weet! on the guest glob. Email me when you’re ready to discuss details. gloria(dot)r6254(at)yahoo(dot)com.
And, yes. My niece (grand niece, actually) is a HOOT! As is her 5 YO sister.
I spoke with the agent that was taking care of complaint duty that day, and the woman had a few problems. It sounds like it was pretty sad.
You would not believe the amount of effort and work it takes to get surveillance approved for bad people, so the idea that we would “keep an eye” on average citizens is pretty silly.
I will let you know when I’m ready to discuss funny shtuff. Let me get with the CDC (Chief Division Counsel) and double check what I might be able to share.
Zack…
Ah, Gloria Jean … we missed you so much. Glad you and your how-ever-many alter-egos have come to visit. Think productive thoughts and keep your FBI contact close by in case one of us needs techie help with AK-47’s 🙂
The song went: “You must have been a beautiful baby, ’cause baby … look at you now.”
See you next week Ka-snort !!
Ah, Florence of the “are you alive?” nudge! Thank you! When I got your email, I realized it was time to get a post moved from my to-do list to to-done.
Techie help with AK-47’s????? I hope you mean fictional. Somehow, I don’t think the neighborhood watch group would want you marching around in camo gear carrying an automatic weapon.
Oh. And, watch out for the drones. If you spot any, I have it on good authority that one should wear a hat made from tinfoil. Don’t ask me why. I
have no cluecan not disclose for reasons of national security.Hey, you.
So glad you are not at the bottom of a mud puddle.
I do believe we have had many a discussion about getting so lost in ideas and projects that we end up not doing anything at all. Naps! Naps are wonderfully passive-agressive ways of avoidance. They are almost guilt free. However, I did finally figure out that there are many days when I feel like I am the hub of a wheel. Each spoke is a project or something that I need to do. Talk about going in circles. 😀
Later, Gater.
Hi, Kristie! Dang! It’s been a long time since I heard from you.
As I recall, you have many spokes in your wheel of many projects. Hope everything is going well and you take time to dance!
Thanks for the visit and comment.
Oh, I know about those mud puddles that hide quick sand. Sometimes I feel like I wake and step right in. Bloop! Thanks for the link to Zack. What a story!
BLOOP! That’s the perfect word for some of our days, isn’t it?
So long as I don’t look back in frustration, I can embrace them. My most frustrating days are those when (name-a-number and multiply by 10) tasks have been started and none completed.
Those days are like the mole days Zack describes. I call them my twirling top mode.
SO glad you linked to Zack. Isn’t it a great story? Can’t wait to see what you guess.
MEGA thanks for the visit and the comment. I need to get over to see you soon. I haven’t seen a new post come in from you lately.
Do I need to send my
naggingconcerned friend after you, too?Nope, send your friend after someone else. 😉 Though thanks for the thought. New post today. I’ve been posting twice a month, but am now posting weekly.
Thank you Joan, and thank you Gloria.
It’s deeply gratifying to know that you two liked the story!
Hi Gloria
I hate days that don’t have a plan. One of the reasons I love skiing is because you wake up in the morning and don’t have to wonder what you’re going to do. You just jump in your skis and go. Well, skis and suitable attire…
Good luck with the list 🙂
Cheers!
Thanks for the “good luck with the list,” Nigel.
Great news! I did my budget forecast for November and discovered I
canhave to stopwastingallocating precious writing time to shopping for my fall/winter wardrobe. The owner of Sassy Flamingo will see a drop in revenue next month.Skiing? I would so love to ski properly. Corporate America transferred me from Denver to Dallas a week after I learned to get off the ski lift without falling into a heap. Those lift guys are not gentle when they lug a lump of womankind from the path before the next chair.
Cheers back atcha’! Can’t wait to hear how things go (or went) with your Fast Draft fandango.
Gloria Jean … how is it that you cause your readers to do it all from Ka-Snorting to falling off their chairs shrieking with laughter? And on a regular basis? However, these really are rhetorical questions because I do know the answers. Having the great good fortune to meet you this summer at Sherry’s when you graced southern Ontario with your presence (and that of the delightful Can/Am Carol St-Laurent), I now actually hear the energy and laughter in your voice and see the sparkle flashing from your eyes with every blog post. Thanks for that gift! Good luck with your five-day plan which we all know will be nothing less than highly entertaining.
Patricia! I’m doing the “aw-shucks” blush while looking at the toe of my sneaker twist to-and-fro in the dirt. (No rain recently, so no mud puddles.)
Thanks so much for your compliments! And, thank you for the opportunity to learn to know you, too.Your laugh
eggs me onis delightful. I’ll be back so I can hear it again.I adore your niece’s ensemble. It looks similar to the one my older daughter donned one day when she was 6, though it was more of a bandana/swim goggles/ballgown affair if I remember correctly.
I am perpetually distracted by just about anything so my productivity is variable. Some days I’m o.k. with that. Not so much on others. Sometimes I think if I were a morning person I could get more done.
Lookin’ forward to hearing more about your 5 day plan. 🙂
Pics! We want Pics, Tami!
The first time I read through your comment, my brain dropped the “d” in “bandana”. Imagine me trying to picture a 6 YO dressed in the resultant outcome of that descriptor.
Does your then 6 YO still dress like a whack-a-doodle? If she’s now in or approaching her teens, my guess would be “yes” on some days.
Don’t bet your imaginary and cliche-alert-ranch on accomplishments of morning people. I routinely get up at 5 a.m.
On my own.
No prodding.
I’m simply done sleeping.
Mornings are oh-so-tempting for hopping the net and commenting on blogs while I wait for God to turn the lights on.
Find another excuse, hon. That one’s not gonna’ cut it with me. *smile*
I am sure with all your plans and hard work you too will be achieving airborne status, like your super nephew. Wow! look at him aiming to crush that board! We’ll hold the board for you, Gloria, you just practice the jumping!
Thanks for the vote of confidence, Jessica!
Yup. Isn’t that leap amazing? Almost as amazing as he is in everything he tackles. And, he’s constantly got a smile on his face, respectful attitude…
I could go on about the many attributes of the boys my niece raised.
As for holding the board for me? First, you’d have to let me leap from a chest- high platform and (second) I hope your insurance covers nose jobs.
Thanks for the visit and comment. You are the best.
I am so jealous you got to visit with Margie Lawson and see Carole St-Laurent accept her first place win for Historical Romance in The Molly.
Step one: Surround yourself with uber talented and motivated friends. CHECK!
Always tons going on here and the same is true for you. These days my lists are shifting from writerish to mommyish/babyiesh tasks. Regardless, it’s always long and only sometimes gets accomplished. Gloria, all we can do is prioritize, pull up our britches, and blaze that trial!!
As a second degree senior black belt and former instructor of Tea Kwon Do, I thoroughly appreciate the form and height of your nephew’s flying side-kick!! Awsome!!
Oh, SKE-weeeeet!, Megan.
You’re into nesting mode getting ready for that bambino/a, aren’t you?
WOW (!) on your background in Tae Kwon Do. I passed your informed and experienced opinion along to my nephew. I’m sure he’ll be thrilled.
I didn’t know to call it a flying side-kick. Speaking of kicks, does it feel like the swimmer within is practicing his/her flying side-kicks?
Mercilessly at all hours of the day and night. She does flips and twirls too. She is a future gymnast.
Well, I’m kind of counting on her to be my tap dance partner. Start saving for those classes now. You haven’t been on your blog answering comments.
Could it be….???????
It could be, but it wasn’t. Thank goodness. No, yesterday I actually wrote when my son was at school and because I didn’t pause for my usual nap time (installed during pregnancy) I fell asleep before the sun went down. It wasn’t labor, but I still blame her. 🙂
I wait until I am panicking and have to write something, then I write down a couple ideas and go with the one I feel most passionate about! Love the photo of your niece!
Dance Gloria dance! I am right there (virtually) with yah!
“…until I am panicking…then I go with the one I feel most passionate about!”
I plucked those words out of your wisdom because that’s how this blog article threw itself together.
Thank goodness I have both talented (nephew) and adorable (niece) pictures of family.
Great news for me! My four sisters were fruitful and supplied me with a plethora of nieces and nephews. Each special and and unique. Love. IT.
Thanks for the visit, Susie.
Ahhhh….well…I think we all have those weeks (at least it’s what I tell myself to make myself feel better)! I have some weeks where I am a maniac at productivity and others were I just feel so unmotivated…just keep plugging away my friend! You’ll be surprised at how much you get done and how good it feels.
And can I just say WOWZERS! Your nephew…he should be in the circus! That is one incredible leap and board breaking ability. The height?!?! Good lord…did he come up off a spring board or trampoline…jeesh…
I say hang out with him. He obviously knows what he’s doing! 🙂
MUAH!
Hey, Natalie! Thanks for the visit and confirmation I’m not alone in
SlothVilleThe Land of The Undone some weeks.My awesome nephew might be persuaded to provide the lead-in act for couples anxious to entertain those within earshot to KA-SNORT! inducing banter. Think of the expanded glee you’ll spread.
Of course, he’ll require traveling funds to get from PA to New Brunswick. Let me know if you want my checking account and ABA routing number for contributions.
I’m here, I’m here, finally, to say,
Wowza! What a leap!
Yes, Gloria dances alone in public. I am witness to said dancing in major cities, including Dallas, Atlanta and Toronto. Note, she is only alone until I join her.
Gloria sends me updates to report on her daily progress, and has for months. Her idea. Totally. Is it her fault I don’t mind read?
Apparently not.
Snort!
SHERRY! SKA-WEEEEET!
You’re back from The Place That Has No Internet, leaving me chat deprived in the mornings.
I know you enjoyed Winnie and Peg, but you left me alone to dance by myself, talk to myself, and send those daily to-do lists into the Great Abyss.
As I’ve said before, (and you no doubt
knewthought I was lying) — it’s the EN ES EH. The daily reports are sometimes pulled for scrutiny at the border.I’m so late. I’m catching up on my fav blogs. You made me LOL, again. And yes, production highs and lows are part of the writer’s world. I think. I hope, because it happens to me all the time.
You are not alone.
BTW, your nephew, jumping so high to break a plank? Incredible! I broke 2 planks once in karate, but it was with my hand. Didn’t have to jump. Awesome.