Tags
#WANA112, Author, Gloria Richard, Humor, Lolly-gagging, Mike Schulenberg, Nigel Blackwell, Writes
For those who noticed I’ve been missing, send the ransom! For those who didn’t, send the ransom!
[If you need my mailing address, email off-loop. Checks and prepaid bank cards accepted.]
No. I haven’t been lolly-gagging. Remove the lolly, and you have it. I’ve been gagging on priorities, and determined to write forward.
I traveled to exotic locales to find inspiration.
While there, I picked up a delightful Chopped Anti-pasta salad, and waited in line to admire iconic figures.
Fortunately, the woman in line ahead of me discovered before I had to that:
- Verbalizing “what’s the big deal” is not advisable while staring at a certain part of a male’s anatomy, and…
- Innocent looking cherubs can morph into water fountains when annoyed or embarrassed.
I left as quickly as I could. She was not Happy, and I had not clue which of Snow White’s remaining six dwarfs she would turn out to be. I feared a good-hair-day-gone-bad Grumpy might adversely impact my glee.
Yes, glee! I was in write-forward mode, making great progress on my manuscript when…
I had been tagged in the eleven question game.
I chose to ignore it. The prose were leaping from my brain to keyboard to paper. And, then…
Ping! Incoming!
What? Another tag in the eleven question game? How could this be? And why did my brain toy with the word “plagiarism” when it threw that first line out there?
With two new items on my to-do list, I chose to call a brief time out and respond.
So who were these beloved fellow bloggers who tagged me? Why, Nigel Blackwell and Mike Schulenberg. I selected options from each of them entirely at random whim. Snark Potential scored a few points in my pin-the-tale-on-the-question game.
RULES? Of course there are rules. I frequently bend the rules. The ones I choose to adhere to on this tag, are to (1) answer eleven questions (of the available twenty-two), and (2) ping-back to the spawns of the devil beloved fellow bloggers who tagged me.
This first set came from Mike Schulenberg, part of my WANA112 class and parent to Qegu, the most popular post on my site to date.
If you could live in a fictional world, where would that be?
I can see it now. It would be an eclectic mix of climates and geography, not unlike moving from one world to the next in Disney World. (Yes, Sherry, in my imaginary world, you are still my next door neighbor. Squee!)
You’ll likely find me—if you want to find me—sitting by a babbling brook in a forest.
[Yes, I know “babbling brook” is cliché. My mouth has I have an affinity with the phrase. Shoot me.]
Home base will be an impressive log lodge staffed by volunteers. Volunteers receive free lodging in exchange for performing tasks they love. I am currently accepting applications for the following positions:
- LOO quality control engineer (steam cleaner provided)
- Tap dance instructor
- Fly swatter
Do you read in noisy or quiet places?
I read anywhere – noisy or quiet—so long as I’m insulated in my bubble and permitted to imitate a bump on a pickle. I do not want to engage in conversation unless I choose to toss my penniless-thought into the game.
If the discussion in progress involves budgets, I’ll keep my penny.
Sometimes, it’s entertaining to read in public places. Eavesdropping, spontaneous snorts, and unanticipated spews of green tea become surreptitious and innocent so long as I keep my eyes focused on my book.
Do reviews influence your choice of reads?
Not much. I follow my favorite authors, snarky titles, genres that interest me, and all books written by authors I know personally. I haven’t yet found a bad one in the bunch.
Can you handle a secret?
- No? Skip to next question. It’s in bold. Four lines down.
- Yes? Proceed to next line.
I read Fifty Shades of Grey. I chose to explore why it created such brouhaha when it hit the top of the NYT list for combined print and e-sales. Now I know.
Whose marriage did you last attend, and with who?
Inner editor Gracie made me leave this in for a debate on whether it should be “who” or “whom.”
Yes, she annoys me, too.
As for the question, I don’t remember. If I recently attended your wedding, it was lovely and oh-so-memorable. In the event you had repeat gifts, I am in need of a new toaster and new towels (preferably yellow or red).
If you could read only one book for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Well, duh.
I would take my own manuscript. I could add plot threads, kill off a husband or two, put bad apples in jail, flirt, have a change of heart, become a saintly-type person, learn to tap dance, craft a protagonist who stands on her head for ten years, reversing the impact of gravity…
I would require participants for method acting some of the scenes.
No. I don’t plan to tell you which scenes.
Whoop! It appears one of the prospective method actors left the building.
Hey! Stop him! He has my chopped anti-pasta salad.
Ingrate.
This next set of questions comes from one of my favoUrite Brits (U-Hogs, just like Canada). The Nigel Blackwell–master of dry wit and cheer(io)s. If you click on this link, you’ll be taken to Nigel’s own eleven question post.
Nigel followed the rules, so you can read them in their yawn awe-inspiring detail when you bop to his site. While you’re there, cruise through his archives. Make sure you locate his post on SOCKS. Too funny!
What sort of vacation do you prefer, activity filled or relaxing on a beach?
Yes.
You have to go back to elementary school – what would you rather do, fifth grade science project or show off your latest dance moves on stage?
Oh, how I would love to show off dance moves at an age when I did not tower two feet above my tap dance classmates.
I would not repeat my science project, a study about the impact of alcohol on the cognitive skills of mice in a maze. For the project, I built a maze from plywood and cardboard, augmented with cozy nests for my two white mice.
My findings? Mice can (and will) chew through plywood and cardboard. Mice are horny social little critters. I may be responsible for a colony of alcohol-dependent mice in the State of Pennsylvania.
What do you juggle the most of? (and don’t forget this isn’t an X-rated site!)
Priorities-du-jour.
What country would you most like to visit and why?
Canada, the land of the U hogs, and—more specifically—Toronto (so Sherry Isaac will quit nagging me) followed by a road trip with her to Banff, and finishing off with a dip into Pennsylvania to visit my sisters, cousins, aunts and uncles.
You’ve just been tapped to star in a new Hollywood action blockbuster, would you do your own stunts?
I would—in my imaginary world.
Does seeing tomorrow’s weather forecast matter to you?
Heck, yes, it matters to me! My husband is retired. My retired husband is a golfer. My retired, golf-loving husband becomes restless when the weather prohibits golfing. My retired, golf-loving husband—when restless and housebound—enjoys playing with budget numbers.
I do not enjoy listening to him play with budget numbers. I miss the Louisville Slugger they took away from me “for my own good.”
Can you imagine what you would do with a mega-lottery win?
None of my family or friends would have mortgages or credit payments.
Who needs over-the-top expensive clothes and cars in place of clean water wells for deprived communities, food for hungry children, and basic life-saving medical care in third world countries?
I would continue to do what I love to do. Write, travel, and dance alone in public when the mood strikes.
I’m sappy charitable enough to find worthy causes on my own. If you are a stranger, do not knock on my door or call me.
What sort of pet do you have?
Peeves
OKAY! That does it! Again, if you want to read the rules, Nigel has them on his site.
While you’re here, leave a comment. Is there a question you’d like to ask that wasn’t addressed in these eleven? Would you like to take on one of these eleven questions yourself? Do you want to be tagged? If yes, leave a comment. If you’re reading this and don’t LIKE or comment…
I have ways to track you and the option to “tag” is still on the cliche-alert table. You have been warned. Have a wonderful glee-filled day. Thanks for visiting!
Your title cracked me up. I knew the post had to be good. I wasn’t disappointed.
Squee, Jenny! Thanks for the visit and the comment. I’ve been so remiss in visiting and commenting on blogs, but you’ve had several in the A to Z challenge that rocked.
Snorting!
Okay, Gloria. Get a felt marker, permanent ink, and write this down: No road trips from TO to Banff.
Huntsville? Sure. Ottawa? Maybe. Montreal? Possibly.
Banff? Friendly skies, please.
Hey, Whimpy! I’m driving from Texas to Toronto to see you. Imagine all the
trouble we could get intofun we could have on a road trip to Banff!Photo ops galore. I’ll even let you ride an elk.
Oh, you are not. You’re flying, and I’m driving to Pittsburgh to pick you up and escort you across the border. Unless we decide to drive to Vegas by way of Margie Lawson’s kitchen.
I am so too driving. Willie is driving up with me, then flying home after her week’s vacation. I want to have a car.
A certain someone could drive back with me and then drive to Margie’s house en route to Vegas.
Not only can I hear your laugh as I read this, you have me laughing with you. You are too funny! Now that you’ve stopped gagging, it’s time to lolly.
When you leave Texas and hit Lake Ontario, you better stop at my house on your way to Sherry’s!!! I have a great garden for lollygagging.
Sharon! How could you even think I’d come that far and not spend time with you?
With three of us in close proximity, I think a certain French Canadian with a flair for whipping eggs into sweet submission should be nagged into joining us.
Okay, good, just checking. I can’t wait!
I’ll jump in and answer for Carole. Yes. She is coming your way this summer. I late July, when the HOTlanta babes get a reunion. WOOT!
Reading Sherry and Sharon’s reply, I want a repeat of Atlanta. Where and when could we all get together?
Gloria, funny post, as usual. It really helps on monday mornings.
Hugs!
P.S.: I have a video of your dance moves, I could somehow post it if you wish…
Oh! I’m tempted to enter the MAGGIES again in hopes I’ll final and we can do M&M in Atlanta all over again.
What a fun time!
p.s. I know you have a video of my dance moves. I almost jeopardized my impeccable reputation as a serious blogger by posting it with one of my articles.
Fortunately, I was too WordPress ignorant to manage the upload of your wonky file type.
Hugs back atcha!
Carole, any chance you’re coming this way this summer?
Vacations- YES to all types. I agree. I was going to apply for a job in your fictional world but was not interested in fly swatter or loo engineer. I would prefer to be head fiction reader or chaise lounger comfort tester.
Brinda! You deserve a vacation.
There is a wait list for Fiction Readers and Chaise Lounger Comfort Testers. I have created and will reserve a spot for you on the Hammock Hanger-Outer Team. Please consider the offer. HHOT babes get their own Cabana Boys.
You can read the plethora of tales I will have to spin in the one book I’m permitted for the rest of my life.
LOL, love that title. And it’s great to get to know you better 🙂
Hey, Raelyn! Thanks so much for your visit. I have been such a bad egg about visiting blogs.
Part of the reason was my lack of activity on my own. I have been a lurker. And, that is so not my style.
It feels good to be out in the glee-shine again.
You are so funny, I love how you didn’t answer some of those seriously. Fun post!
Thanks for the visit and comment, Catherine!
Teeny, niggling worry. What question did you think had a non-serious response?
My imaginary therapist hasn’t yet read this post. I’ll want to properly prepare my
fibrationale.Hi Gloria
Good laugh, and thanks for the mention.
I didn’t know you were missing, I will atone at once by sending an imaginary check to your imaginary hideout (with an imaginary number of zeros, of course).
Glad to hear the wip is going well. Hope you’re doing ok. Are you attending DFW conference?
Cheers!
Hi, Nigel! Thanks for bopping over here from your lofty airborne heights.
I so wish I were going to DFWCon. I planned to go, but life happened.
I know you, Kristen, Cowbell Jenny, Piper, KB, PBR Laura, and company rarely indulge in post-conference libations. But, if you decide to live life on the wild side, I’d love to meet up with you guys for an hour or so.
It’s either that or knock down a small and feeble participant so I can borrow a name tag for a day.
I’ll be in touch. I know how to find all of you. Bwahaha. Cheers back atcha!
Hilarious post, Gloria 🙂 Thanks for playing the question game, and for the link to my humble blog.
Hey, Mike! Send 35 additional friends my way. I’d like one day to beat Qegu’s visit and comment record.
Lofty goals, I’m sure. Thanks for thinking of me when you tapped your tags.
I’m glad Qegu’s debut was so popular, but I’m sure it won’t be long before you break the record. You have a fun blog and it’s a great place to hang out 🙂
Gloria, you and Sherry crack me up with all your snorting! We must meet in person. I’ve only had one friend who snorted when she laughed. I’m not a naturally funny person, but oh how I try. I tried all the time with her, for snort entertainment purposes.
I love your eleven questions answers! I hope your writing picks up and flows as easily as it did before your tagging.
Hey, Megan! We live too close to each other not to find a mutually convenient SBUX.
I’ll teach you to snort when you laugh. No charge. I’m a pro at it. Trouble is, the harder I try to stop, the worse it becomes.
Sherry doesn’t think she’s a naturally funny person, either. Funny things just come out of her mouth.
Gloria, I might want to take the balder out of dash … and stop and think for a minute. Is this real or is this memorex? Okay this was over the top …
But I can’t understand why Sherry doesn’t want a road trip to Banff … on my bucket list I have a trip across Canada (originally by railroad but I dont think it goes all the way from MOntreal to the west coast anymore) and while on this road trip I would stop at Banff and visit the hotel featured in Dick Francis’ mystery and then I would soak up the views of the lake and if I could be 20 years younger, I’d travel to the high country of the Rocky Mountains … Yay to John Denver !!
About the rest of this gagging without the lolly, I am taking the fifth. Oh yes, in case you or anyone reading this gets the idea to tag me for a blog hop, award or other sneaky means of getting into my psyche … forget about it 🙂
Florence (I know… what am I doing here?) you can still do Toronto to Vancouver by train.
Hi, Sherry! [Yes, I see you up there.] Hi, Florence!
We stayed at the castle-like hotel in Banff. It’s beautiful and mysterious and reportedly haunted.
On the hillside, there are two parallel train tracks. Apparently, two rail companies raced to complete the first trans Canadian railroad.
If memory serves me correctly [no guarantee on that] the hotel was originally built as posh accommodations for railroad employees.
Whaaat? Not even one teeny-tiny secret? I think that makes two “gotchas” sitting on the sidelines waiting to get in the game. You have been duly warned.
I love your approach to the questions, Gloria. You are such a rebel, bad ass rule breaker. LOVE it. Your answers cracked me up as did your title. Lollygagging was a word my dad often used when we were kids. I hadn’t heard it in years so thanks for reminding me of it.
And if you deem me worthy, I’d like to get on that list of Hammock Hanger-Outters. I can send my resume if needed.
Tami, you are so worthy of inclusion on the HOTTs team.
Send your resume anyway. I love to
snoopexplore character backgrounds. For my book, of course.Cabana boys will play supporting roles, so focus on
sordidinteresting details about your past.Thanks for the visit!
LOL to this entire post! I was fearful that this was going to be a post about vomit. Glad it turned out to be something entirely different (and, I have to say, much more pleasant).
Good for you for not listening to book reviews. I like to read them after I finish a good book. It’s my way of learning what other people thought of the story…it’s also a way to keep myself imersed in that world just a little bit longer.