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Author, Blogging, Contemporary Romance, contests, Donald Maass, giveaways, Gloria Richard, Humor, Kristen Lamb, Margie Lawson, Mash-up, Writer, Writers in the Storm, Writes
WON’T YOU COME INTO MY PARLOR SAID THE SPIDER TO THE FLY…
I have some history with the seventy-two line poem titled The Spider and the Fly, a tell-all tale that will post elsewhere on this site. For now, please join me in my hammock to discover where in the heck I’m going with Spider GLobbles the Fly.
I’m excited to find out, too…
Spider GLobbles Alien Flies
As I type this, my brain cells begin to move, courtesy of Starbucks® Guatemala Antigua cone-ground-for-home-use coffee.
The spider’s web is—well—THE web. The last horse in the Trifecta of www.
In this scenario, I am the spider.
FWIW, if I were a character (ignoring fresh writing rules), I would look in the mirror and see a shapely spider with big, innocent eyes, long and lush eyelashes, a cute button nose, and perfect white teeth tucked behind kissable, pouty lips.
SNORT! In my dreams.
I don’t know what to picture for the extra legs. But, hey! I write romance. I can work with them. The possibilities! Leg one wrapped around his…
Never mind.
Informative and/or entertaining blogs become my fly—my mid-morning-mind-mulch. A person speaking on condition of anonymity, (but you know who you are, Sherry Isaac) recently observed that I do not write comments. I write novellas. If I have done this on your blog, it is because the post sparked my creative thought process. Words spilled from my fingers with little consideration for the poor readers in my wake scrolling to find a comment box for themselves.
I promise to will make every attempt to limit future comments. Why? Because (1) they add zip to my word count goals, (2) I try not to annoy, and (3) my spider body becomes rotund plump shapelier by the end of a successful blog hog morning.
Spider GLobbers All OVER Herself
I love contests.
I especially love free contests that might yield an edit of a manuscript excerpt by a pro.
I refrain from novella-as-comments blog posts on Kristen Lamb‘s Blog. Why? Because she is the voice of wisdom for bloggers and the author of We Are Not Alone–the Writer’s Guide to Social Media and Are You There, Blog? It’s Me, Writer. Bop over to her site (after you finish here, of course). Order her books. Read her books. Write a book report about her books. I aspire to stay off Kristen’s DUH list for blogging. I also aspire to win her current comment give-a-way.
Leave a comment while you’re there (if you must). Competition sucks is a good thing.
Spider Lurches for Meaty Flies
One of the blogs I follow, Writers in the Storm, has…
I can’t type his name without getting all wonky.
Writer’s in the Storm has a guest blogger today and his name is DONALD MAASS! His books, Writing the Breakout Novel, The Fire in Fiction, and Writing the Breakout Novel Workbook are my favorite “go-to” books when I need to recharge my creative juices or work through a plot snag. Click here and my blog will connect you with his guest post.
That makes us almost like BFFs or something, doesn’t it?
Spider Lurches for another Meaty Fly
It’s a wonderful day in my WEB! Margie Lawson—of Lawson’s Writing Academy fame–has a guest blogger on HER blog today. You can click here.
If you aren’t yet a Margie-Fan-atic, you are missing out on the best power-writing instructor, showcased with other Margie-vetted instructors at Lawson’s Writing Academy. LWA offers a virtual classroom experience for students of the craft of writing. BONUS! Tons of personalized feedback on your own words and WIPs.
Think Margie doesn’t punch up the power for her writers? I offer as evidence the plethora of Margie grads who have made it to “published”—many to the NYT bestseller’s list—including today’s blogger Anita Clenney, author of Embrace the Highland Warrior.
Warning: Meaty flies can have side effects, including procrastination captive reads, but none involve flying body parts.
Spider Alert! Bird in the Vicinity!
I flunked TWITTER! How could this happen? A score of fifty-six percent? Why did this happen?
I aced Calculus in college, for crumb’s sake, and that was after I missed 80% of the classes because they interfered with Double Pinochle games at the student union. It was also after I asked the professor for a make-up date for the final exam because it conflicted with my plan to participate in a sit-in. He said “yes.”
A surprise response that has led me to ponder whether students were the only ones back-in-the-day who did inhale and did enjoy it. Not me, of course…
But, TWITTER? A paltry fifty-six grade in Twitter? Come back Wednesday. By then, Brinda Berry will have diagnosed my problem(s) and will offer more sage counsel on navigation through TwitterVille.
The spider is ready to snooze. So, wake me up with questions and comments. Have you had a good week on your web? Found any juicy flies you want to share with us? About that personal history of me and The Spider and The Fly. I will append it to my bio on the Who Me? page later today, where it will remain for a VERY limited period of time. Have a great day and thanks for visiting. Gloria
Gloria Richard 
Gloria- You CANNOT flunk Twitter. That is impossible. There is no fail…only try. Have I heard that somewhere before? Anyway, you entered your name in TwitterGrader to see where you might improve your tweetskilz. <- Yes, I coined this. Also, did I ever tell you that I attended the Dallas Area Romance Authors conference this year and attended one of Margie's sessions? Blew my mind. You posted some great links in today's post. Happy weekend to you!
Thanks, Brinda! I haven’t yet determined WHY the Twitter-bird gobbled my ego, but I’m sure I’ll (we’ll) work it out. I’m most assuredly going to tag onto one of your lists.
SO glad you’ve experienced the magic I call Margie. Her daughter (Tiffany Lawson Inmam) is Naked Editor and I’ve already won a five page critique of my ms from her.
COMPANY arrives from Pennsylvania tomorrow. I am going to have a great weekend. Hope yours goes well, too.
If it makes you feel any better,l I got a 46 on my Twitter score. Twitter hates me (sad face).
NOBODY could hate you, Lori Freeland. (And, see Brinda’s chicken-soup-for-the-wounded-ego above.)
Look at you! CROSSWALK has been stalking your blog and now offers you a regular blog spot! Woot! Woot!
Brinda, if you check back. Lori is writing a YA Paranormal. I’ve read excerpts and it rocks. She seeks on-line groups specifically targeted for YA paranormal. Hmm? Who do I know published in that genre? Oh, right. YOU! Any sage counsel for Lori?
At least you’re on twitter, Gloria! Is it a SDB to avoid flunking by not taking the course?
Donald Maass, you say? I love Donald. He was fabulous when we spent the day together in Toronto. Okay, so there were 90 other women there too. Loved his every word. Thanks for the heads up!
Took me a few seconds to decode SDB, Sharon. Duh. Self-Defeating BehavioUr — one of Margie’s classes. One of Margie’s classes I might benefit from repeating. (Conduplicatio.;-))
One of 90, but you saw and heard him in person, eh? Ours may be just an on-line connection, but we ARE sort of one-on-one in my imaginary world. I LOVE my imaginary world.
I don’t engage in Twitter, either. I’m maintaining four blogs, a Facebook presence for myself, my series and managing my publisher’s site. I’m dealing with publisher edits on three manuscripts, and I’ve just submitted three more novels/novellas to publishing houses. And I’m writing new material every day. I don’t think anyone needs to be ashamed because they aren’t using one avenue of social media or the other. Everyone needs to work up to the level where they are comfortable and not so stressed they can no longer create. My two cents. 🙂
I’m allergic to tests … Brinda, it was Yoda … “There is no try …” Okay, so I won’t try until or unless I can take the time to learn. Yes, I am on Twitter, and it is a mud pond with stuff in it I can’t identify.
Oh, I forgot to tell you, Gloria. I am an aracnaphobic and other than Charlotte, I have this small problem with hairy creatures with legs. I don’t discriminate, six, eight … legs other than two or four make me itch 🙂 Maybe I can coin the phrase tweeterphobia, the aversion to mastering the short of it all 🙂 Thanks for the post and the fun info. Go ahead and win Kristen’s contest and see if I care.
Chuckling, Florence. Your last sentence sounded like a “nanner-nanner” in disguise.
I am determined that Brinda’s generosity, techie-guru advice, and time will result in a MUCH more efficient presence on the net.
Every time I see that kid in the crib in solitary confinement (with his smartphone) and he says “Apparently, riding the dog like he was a small horse is FROWNED upon in this esTABlishment,” I think of Brinda. Because he’s cute, funny and FAR more tech savvy than I am.
Thanks for facing down your arachnophobia long enough to visit.
‘Ramblingsfromtheleft’ doesn’t like hairy creatures with legs? Phew. I’m a creature with hairy legs. That was close. Phew!
Wondering why my name keeps getting dropped on your blog, Gloria. Next, it will be a wanted poster! ACK.
I scored a 68 on Twitter, but still haven’t studied tags and whatnot. It still overwhelms me–I only started texting last year–but I will get there, slowly but surely.
I have great faith you will conquer this, Sherry. At least I left out “friend, talented CP, writing buddy, chat buddy, and fellow Maggie finalist” this time.
Woop! There I go. Typing without benefit of brain–again.
In re: hairy legs. I may not shave my legs again until I finish my WIP and secure agent representation. Do NOT write a reply referencing hair braids on my legs. HA! Caught ya’ mid-thought, didn’t I?
I missed Brinda’s last post here, must have been about Twitter. I’ll have to go back. See what happens when I try to do something (actual money paying work) besides writing! Kristen Lamb says to try Klout, and a 56 on Klout would be good! Not failing! I myself am in the 40’s and proud of it! The amazing Joan Swan is in the 60’s and you’ll have to go see Kristen’s post to figure out her score, but I believe it is in the mid-80’s, and that is more than fantastic!
So maybe a 56 is actually a great grade! You just need to change the scale. 🙂
Ooh! Grade on the Bell Scale. LOVE the concept. Great post this morning over at JessicaApen.com. I’ll be looking for vegan recipes to submit.
Hope you’re surviving your full-time-job-hell-month of November.
STRESS! That’s what brings on the headaches for me. So. Guess what? I try not to stress over anything. Including a 56/100 on TWITTER. DON’T FORGET TO ENTER THE CONTEST!
“And I have many pretty things to show when you are there (web)” said Gloria (Spider)
“O no, no,” said the little fly (Rosanne), “to ask me is in vain,
For who goes up your winding stair can ne’er come down again.”
But I have to admit I kinda like it up there…comfy hammock, glittering web, tweetie bird and all!! I think I’ll explore some more….
Thanks, my hairy legged Globber friend!!
Leg one wrapped around his…
Never mind.
I just spit my chocolate coversed raisins all over my screen laughing. OMG! That was sooooo funny!
Thanks for the giggle!