LETTER FROM CAMP SNARKY GLOB
Dear Mama Jen,
How are you? I am fine. The weather has been good. My lower-bunk roommate has cooties and she snores.
That is not why I’m writing. I’m writing because I
need money miss you.
And, I need money.
On my first outing at Camp Snarky Glob, That Gloria Person (code name GLOP) got us in trouble.
Dudes who trap wildlife do not like it when a car stops behind their parked truck that has its frigging back-up lights on(!).
They lower the truck window with caution when the driver of the car blocking escape jumps out of her car and runs to the driver’s door, shaking her iPhone and me.
This was supposed to happen today.
But, GLOP got all a-twitter about something you were gonna say and she put it off!
She has pictures. Send
I am in hiding. THE DUDE WHO TRAPS BEAVERS IS HOWLING FOR HIS PUBLIC APOLOGY. <=== Desperate shouty capitals.
What did you do to stop that, Mama Jen?
What could be more important that my freedom, self-esteem, and will to clang?
We Drove Off Topic and Onto the Porcelain Pot
Hi! GLOP here.
Last week, I was all full of
poop myself, glee-riddled that I had a glob post ready for today.
I tweeted MORE COWBELL’s Mama (@JennyHansenCA) calling DIBS on the PooPourri commercial for a future post.
What’s not to love about a product that guarantees small children won’t enter the Loo and comment “Ew! Someone just pooped!”
[And, all one can do is sit quietly, hoping they won't see
my One's feet.]
What’s not to love about the fabulously funny PooPourri commercial?
Nothing. That’s what’s wrong with it.
And, that is the reason Jenny Hansen, The Queen of Potty Humor got to it first.
[To see the video More Cowbell featured yesterday, click the Linky-Love <==== here!]
[Erm. I was reminded yesterday by my bestie, Sherry Isaac -- of Psychological Sizzle fame, that she called DIBS on this commercial months ago. DIBS has little value in the cutthroat world of blogging.]
The Poop Support Shopping Spree
Jenny posts about whack-a-doodle topics and products.
I purchase those products.
This time was no different.
Except, it was.
Because, I had MORE COWBELL with me when I went shopping.
BONUS! This whack-a-doodle product really works!
[Do not ask me how I know. Trust me on this one.]
I found PooPourri at my drug dealer’s digs..
[You have No idea.]
She? He? I’m going with She.
[Despite hangy-down clangor evidence to the contrary.]
More Cowbell has boundaries. I’m not allowed to peek.
We made our purchases, and then took a
dump PooPourri trial run in the Roanoke Pharmacy Loo.
More Cowbell was polite and waited her turn in the TP corral.
Let the Lurking Begin
The Day of The PooPourri blog post on More Cowbell turned into a day of blog jacking.
I had the product! I wanted to post about the product. Alas and alack [forsooth], Jenny got to the commercial first.
I had no video.
The best I could do, was reblog Jenny’s post and lurk in comments. Lurking in comments turned into a blessing yesterday.
WritePlaceRightTime commented on a follow-up video produced by PooPourri.
This one covers The History of PooPourri.
If my history teacher had been half as entertaining as the producers of this video, I would not suffer from Residual Chalkboard Eraser Fly-By Syndrome.
Grab some TP, and enjoy the crap out of this history lesson.
I HOWLED over the (supposed) ideas for product names:
- Crack Attack
- Sweet Toot
- Plumper Dumper
Had I been on the Poop Scoop committee, I might have suggested:
- Da Bomb Shelter
- Sunk the Skunk
- Sink the Stink
- Flush the Blush
I’m shocked PooPourri hasn’t yet found me on LinkedIn.
Jenny sent me Tweety Bird Intel yesterday on another YouTube video. This one was a consumer report extolling the benefits of PooPourri.
It was posted by a young woman about to go on vacation with her boyfriend. She was thrilled about a product designed to make romping and pooping together a pleasant experience.
I’m not posting the link here because I already have one video. [You can snoop through the @gloriawrites or @jennyhansenCA Twitter threads for the link if you're so inclined.]
There was one bit in this product endorsement that braided my nose hairs.
The producer cautioned that she had not yet tested the long-term benefit of PooPourri.
That is to say, she had not yet left a commode with both PooPourri and her ‘business’ in there for an extended period of time. She could not confirm it masked odors for the long and the short float.
She felt it was, after all, polite to do a ‘courtesy flush’ when using a commode accessible to others.
Courtesy flush? Really? And, the alternative would be…
I’m sorry. Is there a Green Earth save-the-water campaign I’m missing?
True Campaign Missed Opportunities
Time spent noodling around with the blog. Traveling with More Cowbell. Watching the PooPourri commercials umpty-ump times. Those three sentence fragments led to a pocket I have to pick with PooPourri.
Poop teams! You may not be aware. You may not even care.
We have pearls.
We have More Cowbell.
We have both sizes!
We have a handy plumber’s helper for poop problems other than odor.
We obviously have time for nonsense.
Have your peeps call my peeps.
I’ll keep my yogurt and my phone ready.
There you have it. MY comeback-kid post on PooPourri. Have you tried this product? Do you have any names you’d like to offer as alternatives to PooPourri? Am I missing something in terms of courtesy flush? [Sorry. I can't flush that mental image.]
turds words of wisdom in comments, so I have something to play with today. This post will be here all week. And [feeling the glee again!] we get to apologize to Nuisance Animal Control Dude next week in More Cowbell Chronicles.